The relationships that matter most have a way of revealing the parts of us that most need our attention.

Love can bring forward longing, fear, jealousy, insecurity, tenderness, old protective strategies, and the gap between who we want to be and what actually happens in real moments.

For many people, this becomes especially visible in non-monogamous relationships, where questions of attachment, freedom, and security are constantly in motion.

Many people come to non-monogamy with clear values: honesty, autonomy, openness, freedom, and a real desire to live in alignment with them. And yet, in lived experience, something more complex often shows up.

Old conditioning. Inherited beliefs about love, worth, and security. Shame that doesn’t match what we consciously believe. Nervous system responses that move faster than understanding.

This is where the gap becomes visible between what we know and what we can live in real time.

You may understand how you want to show up in relationships and still find yourself shutting down, grasping for reassurance, people-pleasing, pulling away, or reacting in ways that feel familiar and hard to interrupt.

Or you may simply know that relationships feel intense or confusing without yet having language for what’s happening inside you.

This work is about slowing down enough to understand what is happening in those moments rather than trying to override them.

Together, we explore what gets activated in intimacy, conflict, boundaries, desire, closeness, and distance, and what those moments are revealing about your internal world.

This may include:

• jealousy, insecurity, comparison, and attachment responses

• difficulty knowing what you need or want in real time

• people-pleasing, self-abandonment, or over-functioning in relationships

• communicating clearly without shutting down or becoming reactive

• old beliefs about love, sex, worth, and partnership that get activated in connection

• building relationships that can hold more honesty, complexity, and emotional reality

I work with people across many identities, relationship structures, and ways of loving — queer, LGBTQIA+, non-monogamous, polyamorous, questioning, partnered, and single.

People arrive here from different starting points. Some have spent years reflecting on their patterns and still feel caught in them. Others are just beginning to notice what happens inside them when relationships become emotionally charged.

What matters most is not where you start, but your willingness to meet what is actually happening, as it is happening.

The relationships don’t have to become perfect.

But they can become places where you know yourself more deeply, stay with yourself more fully, and meet the people you love with greater honesty and care.

Sessions are held online via video, duration: 60 minutes, cost is $108

In the San Francisco area? I offer in-home sessions at a higher rate for those who prefer in-person support in their own space.